Havent posted in a long time

Hey all….Sorry i havent posted in so long but things have been crazy between messed up roomates and jobs and preparing for the baby. Im 23 weeks now and feeling the pain lol…ive gotten huge and at times i feel like a freaking boulder among pebbles. Ive just become an Avon representative, to try and pull in a little bit of money for the baby. My boyfriend is working 40-50 hour weeks and I feel terrible at the exhaustion hes facing from pulling in all the money on his own, so I would love if any of you could let me know if your interested in buying some Avon products. Its all online, I have my own webpage, and I was totally surprised to see that Avon isnt just makeup and lotion. They have holiday decorations, baby and kid supplies and toys, shoes, clothing, jewlery, perfume, candles and lotions, personal hygeine products, the whole nine yards. Let me know if youre interested and I will get right to you asap. Ive just started, and im already having trouble getting anywhere with it. You can email me if you wanna, my email is dibellaamanda@outlook.com 🙂



A New Kind Of Hunger

I find myself pleasantly surprised to be facing a new kind of hunger. Usually when I go shopping, I buy what is convenient. I buy boxed foods, things I can throw in a pan with powdered flavor packets and over processed genetically modified ingredients. Boxed potatoes, bagged veggies. I realize now how utterly stupid that was.

Today, I bought salad. Lettuce, vegetables, nectarines, watermelon, peppers and cucumbers and fresh mozzarella cheese. Then I went home, made a salad, and fell in love.

I felt so much better, knowing full well that everything I was putting into my body was going to benefit my child immensely. Mind you it is my beleif that almost everything we consume that is not grown ourselves is somehow genetically poisoned or coated. But I dont have access to grow my own garden, so this was second best. Now im sitting here trying to resist the urge to make another salad, to have one more slice of watermelon, to stuff my face on the foods that yes, cost more, but tasted so much better.

Anyway. that was my little blurb for the hour 🙂 







The Need To Eat, But most all of its poison…

An Age, A Rant, Word Craft and other fine arts

The choice of going GMO free. It’s hard when you choose to escape the poison we have grown up on. But its a must in order to progress, How can i focus when my spirit is fighting to expel the destructive chemicals altering my DNA and my health.

Those who share the similar goal and are not already following this person they provide tips and advice on how to avoid GMO (http://gmo-awareness.com/shopping-list/gmo-free-brands/)

Also a few other sources i have been looking into..

Here is a shopping guide to stay GMO free that i found and downloaded the PDF file (http://www.centerforfoodsafety.org/files/cfs-shoppers-guide1_94012.pdf)

The Source of the PDF file:


As i educate myself more on this, because i have neglected the need throughout my journey, and now i realize its a must, In order to progress i need to cleanse myself of the ‘Elites’ attempts to…

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Amazing Resonance Experiment! (3:39)

This is absoutely amazing…geometry literally exists in the energy of the world. This right here is PHYSICAL proof that the world itself is made up of geometric forms, on a planet surrounded by a grid of energy in geometric form. That if you raise your frequency, you raise your energy, and then your geometrical grid. We are changing.

The Universe ca…

The Universe cannot be read until we have learnt the language and become familiar with the characters in which it is written. It is written in mathematical language, and the letters are triangles, circles. and other geometric figures.

Galileo Galilei

Step Two in the Journey

Step Two in the Journey

How well do we really know ourselves? How well do I really know myself? I dont think much at all.
But you see, in my eyes, its not a question of knowing, its of loving. You can love something that is unknown. I dont care one bit what every closed minded fucker says about it. You can love the universe. It is the most unknown thing any existence can provide. You can love another. They are NEVER fully known. Thats the beauty of it. You never know the things you love.
So I guess this is my next epiphany…..Ive been waiting to love myself. Because I thought I first had to know myself.
First Ego, then Love.
And THAT right there is even more proof that intention works. I put out the intention to find the things I need to change within myself. And look at this, step by step im realizing it.

Living Laterally

Watch this. Tell me that the things I believe are not real. Its math. Solid fact and science.
What is living laterally?
It is letting go of human doubt. Moving outward in the spiral, ever reaching toward the gain of knowledge and the thrill of love.
Gotta fuckin love tool 🙂

What the devil is it doing there? Mystery of enormous pentagram in Kazakhstan visible on Google earth


This enormous pentagram etched into the ground next to a lake in an isolated pentcorner of Kazakhstan, has had conspiracy theorists all of a flutter after it appeared on Google Earth.

The five-pointed star symbol which measures some 366 metres in diameter, is situated on the southern shore of the Upper Tobol Reservoir in the north of the country.

Pentagrams are commonly associated with devil-worship, but are also used in the Bahai religion and Chinese Taoism as well as neopaganists and followers of the Greek mathematician Pythagoras.

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Stuck in the Loop

Stuck in the Loop

On an off note (yes already ;P) I want to say that the title of this post terrifies me. I hate the phrase “stuck in a loop.” You guys can owe your thanks to Sidloki on that one. It was a phrase I heard while in the midst of a very intense trip. I ended up saying at least 20 times in a minute that the trip was so crazy and I was stuck in a loop, and then finally forgot about it when I accadentally knocked over a salt shaker on our wooden table. The sight of the salt seemed to be trying to tell me something, and I was in rapture of it, and the way it moved. I was out of my loop for that entire time I sat there, talking as quickly as I could to my boyfriend (who sat there with his eyes lit up at my intake of the knowledge he had been trying to teach me) about karma and being and how the salt was beautiful because It wasn’t actually there.

Thats the wonder of it. Here I was, so so deep into this loop, to the point where I was saying REPEATEDLY that I was in a loop, and suddenly, when i saw the salt, I was out. Because that salt captured me, I had accepted the universes weird way of teaching a lesson and I had found my moment of peace in accepting that lesson. And there I was, standing apart from the loop like I had never stepped in in the first place.

Last night, as i lay in bed on the verge of tears over my botched hair dye job, I had an epiphany. It started when I realized that I was crying over hair. Hair! I mean it was ridiculous. Yes, it looks terrible, but It doesnt define or change me. I am a soul in a body. My hair is a material thing. It doesnt matter.

And then I figured I would try a sort of intention workshop, only in a different aspect than what I was taught.

What about my hair was so important? Well, it reflected my apperance.

Why did I care about my appearance? I wanted to be beautiful.

Why did being beautiful matter to me? …………………………………………

I was stumped. I had no damned clue. No fucking idea why I had spent my entire life wanting to look like some pre determined picture of what beautiful was.

And then I realized. I have many problems in my life right now. But I only have ONE problem in me. One thing that needed to change so that everything could fall back into place.

My endless loop begins with my Ego. My god my ego is so swollen and large it takes over my being. You wouldnt beleive it talking to me, youd say “but youre so down on yourself, youre so self conscious” and I would laugh.

My ego is swollen because I think im entitled. I think its ALLLLLL about me. Im greedy. Here the universe has offered me the greatest gifts in the world, enlightenment, a place aside from the sheep, a beautiful man by my side and a miracle of a child in my stomache. And what do I do? I ask for more. “I want my roomates to stop pissing me off. I want my house to stop getting messy. I want my boyfriend to understand me more. I want my hair to look good. I want to be pretty.” I mean fuck, I sound like an overgrown child sometimes!

I am not content with just being, the one thing I stressed so adamantly to myself that day while tripping. Something was telling me that THIS, right here and now was going to happen, and I was going to have to make a choice.

And so I choose to accept things. I choose to look in the mirrror later and smile at my goofy hair. I choose to kiss my boyfriend and accept that he may not completely understand me, but he does completely love me. I choose to meditate, to find somewhere beautiful, to accept that life just is, and that It will all be okay.

Untitled, Just a Muse.

Untitled, Just a Muse.

Why can’t I keep you safe as my own?
One moment I have you the next you are gone
Rehearsed steps on an empty stage
That boy’s got my heart in a silver cage
Why can’t you want me like the other boys do?
They stare at me while I crave you

I walked into the room dripping in gold
Yeah dripping in gold
I walked into the room dripping in gold
Dripping in gold
A wave of heads did turn, or so I’ve been told
Or so I’ve been told
My heart broke when I saw you kept your gaze controlled
Oh I cannot solve